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The Funny Things I Did Unknowlingly

So I don’t remember this because I was still in a coma! I was in a coma for eight days in April of 2015 because I fell at World Tour Finals and almost died. But I was wearing my Smith helmet which is probably the reason I am still alive.

It would have been dramatic and funny if I did just one of the things, but I did all four! I naturally like to be the center of attention, and I guess when I was in a coma I was the same!

I don’t usually shit on people but I shat on people quite a few times when I was in a coma and quite dramatically too!

Before I remember I shat on four people at once! They were holding me standing and I shat on four people at once! I Also broke my hospital bed. Basically, I broke what was there to support me! I broke the bed with my foot for some reason and became the first person to ever break a portion of my bed in the history of the hospital! And they have some pretty big people in there and I’m pretty little but I guess I still had strength.

And I flashed just about everyone! I was really totally restless and thrashing around in my bed. But the action was still flashing everyone. I had a regular hospital robe on but after I had flashed everyone tons of times, I ended up with a hospital robe on me normally and another hospital robe tied around my legs so you couldn’t see me inappropriately when I thrashed.

Another thing that happened is when my eyes were closed but I was working with a nurse and she had me squeeze my left hand and do peace signs and thumbs-ups. And I guess I decided I was done because the next time she asked me to do a peace sign, I flipped her off!

When I was just waking up I was so congested on my teeth, they stank and my little sister said, “Eww you smell gross.” and I said quietly, “Just like you.” and poked her in the nose.

I also reached over and randomly grabbed her vagina, and she was like “Jamie, why are you grabbing me?” and I quietly said, “Because I’m tickling you!”

And when I was graduating from wearing a diaper my mom was laughing so hard she accidentally peed a little bit. And I made fun of her asking, her if she wanted to use my pampers! Needless to say, I graduated from wearing pampers the very next day!

And the very first time I ever saw Matt, who was a 24-year-old who was in the hospital like me cause he fell at a beach in California and hit his spine on a rock and currently was paralyzed from the chest down! Anyways, the very first time I saw him, apparently he was going into the bathroom to get helped with a shower. And I asked Jeanee if I could go shower with him. She said, “No, this wasn’t exactly that kind of place.” And I asked, “Why not?”

So I obviously did interesting things when I was in a coma and starting to recover. Basically, because I could move every way but I couldn’t function as a normal adult at that time.